The Single Christian
Dating In A Messed Up World
Dating in this day and age has its challenges and can be intimidating, especially for Christians. Where do we start in the whole dating thing? The foundation of dating should be based on keeping God at the center of your relationship. Applying biblically-based principles to dating will help guide you to ensure you are glorifying God while through your relationships.
Our Moral Compass
Every Christian has a moral compass called the Holy Spirit that dwells within them. This compass holds believers up to a higher standard than that of the world when it comes to our lifestyle. Because of this, we as Christians strive to live our life so that we glorify God in all that we do.
When approaching dating, we should ask for the Holy Spirit to guide us and pray God grants us the wisdom so we make the right choices. It never hurts to ask God to reveal to us what we should see or know about the person we are dating.
Foundation and Principles to Dating
The very foundation of dating should consist of three things for a believer:
Seek God’s will
Biblical Principles For Dating
As believers, we are to follow a set of Godly standards that are biblically based.
Put God first!
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Mark 12:30
Obeying God should be a basis for not only security and love, but for acceptance, happiness, and fulfillment. This should have priority over dating and everything else.
Spending time in the word should be something we do in our daily lives.
Have a spiritual and healthy relationship.
“Love one another as I have loved you.” John 13:34
God has a standard by which we should follow when dating.
Encourage each other
Honor each other
Love each other
Teach and rebuke each other
Submit to each other
Serve each other
Forgive each other
Do not date unbelievers.
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14
God expresses in scripture that He does not want us to be with unbelievers in marriage. However, it can apply to dating as well. Dating an unbeliever will have an influence on your morals, priority with your walk with Christ, and in your convictions.
Observe the person you are dating for the standard they live by with their life and doctrine and what their convictions are regarding salvation and purity. If they waiver and do not agree 100% with the Bible, do not pursue further dating.
Get advice from other Christians who have been there, done that!
“...the wise listen to advice.” Proverbs 12:15
Seek advice from mature, strong Christians to find objectivity in your dating relationship(s.)
Keep yourself pure and do not defile your body.
“The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.” 1 Corinthians 6:13, 19
God desires intimacy between a man and a woman to be shared within the boundary of marriage. When dating, refraining from intimacy builds deeper relationships and trust between each other. Do not allow another to compromise your standard of keeping yourself pure for marriage. Be aware of struggling with weakness and be open and honest with the other person.
Be accepting of one another.
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:12-14
When dating, be mindful that the other person may have differences that should be embraced. It’s best to date someone that you can relate to age-wise, similar interests, and convictions. However, their life experiences and socioeconomic background should be secondary.
You CAN do this!
Now that you have a basic set of dating guidelines that are backed up by scripture, you are ready to step out into the dating world and be confident about what you will and will not accept in a relationship.
The world is full of those who will try to deceive you and pose as one that shares the same convictions that you have. However, God will equip you to have the wisdom to discern a genuine believer from an unbeliever.
So, dating in a messed up world can be done!