How To Deal With Church Hurt

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The best day of your life is the day you gave your life to Christ. The idea of joining a church and belonging to a community seemed cool, if not remarkable.

You could not wait to be surrounded by people who would love you unconditionally and help you to become the person God created you to be.

But now it seems like it was just a fantasy. Is Jesus for real?

If so, why did he let you down by allowing people in the church, a place where you expected to find love and security hurt you.

Why did he lead you to a place where you could be hurt so badly by the people who profess to love him.

Sounds familiar?

Many of us have gone through church hurt. We thought that the church would be a place where we would find healing and wholeness, but instead, we got hurt and humiliated.

The very people who were supposed to hold your hand are the ones who have betrayed you.

Now you don’t want anything to do with church and Christians.

But wait! You don’t have to do that. Instead, choose to deal with the hurt because God wants you to fellowship with others. But how do you do it? How should one deal with church hurt? (Hebrews 10:25)

Develop the Right Mindset about Church

Before you go back to church or find a new one, you need to develop the right mindset about the church. See, the church is not a place filled with perfect people.

It is a place where imperfect people saved by grace go to.

Another truth is not everyone who goes to church or stands on the pulpit is a true Christian. Some of the people you see in church are there for selfish reasons.

Others are just Christians by association, that is to say, they are Christians because their spouse, parent, or guardian is a Christian.

Knowing this from the onset will help you to have a realistic expectation of people in the church. Don’t think that everyone in the church will love you or welcome you with open arms.

Jesus was killed by the Pharisees, who were the religious leaders of the day.

Even Paul was also betrayed.  (1Timothy 4:10)


It is not easy to forgive someone who has offended you so badly. But we need to forgive because God has forgiven us.

God did not forgive us because we deserve forgiveness; he did because he loves us. We also need to forgive others out of love.

Forgiveness will free you from bitterness and its effects. Don’t allow what other people did to you to hold you back from enjoying your relationship with God. (Ephesians 4:31-32)


You can rant about how you hate church on social media. You can go around telling people how you were hurt in church, but that will not take the hurt away.

The best thing to do is go before God, not away from him.

Tell him how much you are hurt and ask him to heal you. (Philippians 4:6-7)

Remember to ask God to forgive you where you have gone wrong. Ask him to show you the right church to go to if you are led to leave your old church.

In Conclusion

Just because people go to church doesn’t mean that they are perfect. Some of the people in the church are there for the wrong reasons.

Others have not let go past hurt, and so they are also hurting other people. No matter what you have gone through, remember that God loves you so much. Do not judge God based on what people do.

God remains to be faithful and loving despite our experiences. Pray, develop the right mindset, and forgive those that have hurt you.

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