“Should I Stay or Go?”
The Woman in a Godless Marriage
Finding contentment in a marriage between a Christian and non-believer is difficult. Christian wives in such a marriage often ask, “Should I stay or go?”
Scripture tells us that we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers; however, what do we do if we ignored God’s instruction and married someone that does not know God?
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” - 2 Corinthians 6:14
Angel knew a life of being raised in a Christian home and came to know the Lord as her Savior at an early age. She had always dreamed of marrying a strong Christian man that could share her love and faith in God.
Her dreams came crashing down the day she realized after marrying, that her husband was not a believer. During their courtship and engagement, he portrayed himself as a believer in both actions and words. It wasn’t until after they had married that he was living a life contrary to Christian values. She was crushed. Her immediate thoughts were to leave him because she knew that God commanded us not to be yoked with unbelievers.
Her pastor gave her several exhortations to encourage and guide her:
God will guide you to try to win your husband.
“Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way, the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” - 1 Peter 3:1-6
Your Father will provide you the grace you need to honor Him. Regardless of your husband’s actions, God holds you and only you accountable for your actions, not your husbands.
“And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” - 2 Corinthians 9:8
Keeping your marriage vows pleases the Lord.
Your situation can change. Your Father hears your petitions.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!” - Ephesians 3:20
Do not keep focusing on whether or not your husband or marriage is pleasing to God, but rather on whether your life is pleasing to Him.
God Knows You Are Hurting
The Father knows the pain and hurt that fills your heart and how you yearn to have a husband to share in your love and worship of Him. Finding the strength to be happy in your situation comes from the power God provides to you through the Holy Spirit. You will be able to profess your love for God and be able to live in the light of His presence!
If you are in a marriage where there is physical abuse or violence, do not stay, but seek help from your pastor and the local authorities. God does not condone physical violence in any marriage. Nor should you participate in the lifestyle your husband chooses.
Christian wives are obligated to remain with their husbands as long as the husbands want to remain with them. The unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife.
“Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives” - 1 Peter 3:1
The husband does need to hear the gospel, and then the wife can win her husband without one word uttered but through her actions.
God will equip you and carry you through according to His perfect will!
“Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” - Deuteronomy 6:5
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” Isaiah 40:29
Daughter of the King
You are the Daughter of the Almighty King! Do not grow weary of serving Him. Honor Him by honoring your unsaved husband. Stay in prayer over your husband and have prayer warriors lift you and your husband up.
You are wonderfully made, and He will never forsake you!